Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12
The focus of 10 Minutes with God this week is Paul’s teaching to husbands and wives in Ephesians 5. If you are married, begin your week by thanking God for your partner in marriage and asking him, by his Spirit, to be the “third cord” of your marriage.
If you are not married – ask the Lord to use this teaching to either prepare you for that relationship or to enrich all of your current significant relationships.
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing of the water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church – for we are all members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery – but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife, as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:21-33
We have a product at our house called “Gorilla Glue.” The bottle claims that Gorilla Glue can bond everything from wood to glass to foam – and is faster and stronger than any other bonding agent available. While I’m not quite convinced that Gorilla glue is all it claims to be, I do know that it can bond skin if you aren’t careful!
Paul here turns his attention to how new life in Christ should manifest itself in the central relationships of our lives – including marriage. And he begins, in effect, with the “Gorilla Glue” of marriage – Christ himself.
“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
Notice that Paul is assuming that all of our relationships begin with a prior relationship with Christ. That is, our relationship with Jesus is to shape our relationships with others. Paul has already taught us that we become adopted into our new family when we hear the word of truth, believe, and then are sealed by the Holy Spirit (chapter 1). And that once Jesus takes up residence in our hearts through the Holy Spirit (chapter 3), we are to put off our “old selves” and put on our “new selves” which are created to be like God (chapter 4). As new people we are then to treat others the way Jesus would treat them – with respect, compassion and forgiveness (chapter 4).
What does all this have to do with marriage? Paul is telling us that the first step in growing a great marriage relationship is to be fully submitted to Jesus Christ – and to be growing more and more like him. He is telling us that the Gorilla Glue of marriage is Christ himself. As we allow Jesus to shape our hearts and lives, we will find all of our relationships – including marriage – deepened and strengthened by him.
Close your time with God today by thanking him for your husband or wife (if you are married), or for the central relationships in your life, and by asking him to teach you how to love others as he loves them.
Brian Coffey
Friday, May 28
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. - Ephesians 5:21
The word Paul uses here for submit literally means, “arrange under”. More importantly, Greek has three voices or ways of describing a given action: active, middle and passive. The active voice for submitting would be “subjugate” them. In Paul’s writings, the only time the active voice is used, God alone is the “subjugator”. An example is Eph. 1:22 where Paul says, in effect, God subjugated all things under Christ’s feet. The passive voice of submitting would imply “let yourselves be subjugated”. In this verse and the verses that follow (right up to 6:9) only the middle voice is used, “submit yourselves”.
That means that the submission Paul urges is both voluntary and mutual.
All of us are voluntarily to submit to each other!
None of us is told to make someone else submit to us. That totally changes the nature of submission in the church. Other than for teaching young children to obey their parents (mentioned elsewhere in the Scriptures), there is no place for those in authority to ensure or force the submission of others. This applies to all relationships in the body of Christ – husbands and wives, children and parents, masters and servants.
In saying this, Paul is dealing with the basic remedy for all the conflicts in our day. Paul will apply this principle as he discusses the relationship of husbands to wives, which brings in the whole realm of marriage and divorce and the problems that arise there. Then he will take up the matter of children and parents, which we have already talked about (see previous devotions this week) Then he will take up the issue of management and labor. In each case, the remedy is always the same: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
If we have any desire at all to be part of a solution to the issues surrounding us today, we must do so out of an understanding of what God has revealed about the heart of the problem. We must go back to the cause of all human strife – selfishness. Every one of us has at some time asked the question, “How can I get the greatest satisfaction out of life?”
Sooner or later, in our attempts to get what we want out of life, we find ourselves on a collision course with someone else who is attempting the same thing. We find that our efforts to satisfy ourselves are continually sabotaged by others who are trying to achieve satisfaction in the same way. We insist on our rights, and others insist on their rights, and so we become obstacles to each other.
But Paul changes the whole pattern for us by introducing two radical factors that alter the whole situation.
First, the Christian must never forget that in every relationship of life, another person is present: It is not merely a problem of what I want versus what you want. In every relationship a third Person is present—the Lord Jesus Christ!
Second, when I am at odds with another person, to see that Christ is there too is to make me aware immediately of what He has taught me. It is only when I forget myself and devote myself to another's fulfillment that I will find my own heart running over with grace and satisfaction.
This is one of the fundamental mysteries of life, and it is confirmed to us every day. Those who try desperately to satisfy themselves are the ones who end up hollow inside. Jesus put it this way: “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it” (Matthew 16:25).
It becomes, then, a question of priority. You cannot have your rights by insisting upon them. You can have them only when you seek to give others their rights.
Do you dare to try living this radical principle right where you live today??
Lord Jesus, You who emptied yourself of Your glory and laid down Your rights in order to serve us, help us to follow Your example and submit to each other for Your sake and for the glory of God - Amen
Jeff Frazier
The word Paul uses here for submit literally means, “arrange under”. More importantly, Greek has three voices or ways of describing a given action: active, middle and passive. The active voice for submitting would be “subjugate” them. In Paul’s writings, the only time the active voice is used, God alone is the “subjugator”. An example is Eph. 1:22 where Paul says, in effect, God subjugated all things under Christ’s feet. The passive voice of submitting would imply “let yourselves be subjugated”. In this verse and the verses that follow (right up to 6:9) only the middle voice is used, “submit yourselves”.
That means that the submission Paul urges is both voluntary and mutual.
All of us are voluntarily to submit to each other!
None of us is told to make someone else submit to us. That totally changes the nature of submission in the church. Other than for teaching young children to obey their parents (mentioned elsewhere in the Scriptures), there is no place for those in authority to ensure or force the submission of others. This applies to all relationships in the body of Christ – husbands and wives, children and parents, masters and servants.
In saying this, Paul is dealing with the basic remedy for all the conflicts in our day. Paul will apply this principle as he discusses the relationship of husbands to wives, which brings in the whole realm of marriage and divorce and the problems that arise there. Then he will take up the matter of children and parents, which we have already talked about (see previous devotions this week) Then he will take up the issue of management and labor. In each case, the remedy is always the same: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
If we have any desire at all to be part of a solution to the issues surrounding us today, we must do so out of an understanding of what God has revealed about the heart of the problem. We must go back to the cause of all human strife – selfishness. Every one of us has at some time asked the question, “How can I get the greatest satisfaction out of life?”
Sooner or later, in our attempts to get what we want out of life, we find ourselves on a collision course with someone else who is attempting the same thing. We find that our efforts to satisfy ourselves are continually sabotaged by others who are trying to achieve satisfaction in the same way. We insist on our rights, and others insist on their rights, and so we become obstacles to each other.
But Paul changes the whole pattern for us by introducing two radical factors that alter the whole situation.
First, the Christian must never forget that in every relationship of life, another person is present: It is not merely a problem of what I want versus what you want. In every relationship a third Person is present—the Lord Jesus Christ!
Second, when I am at odds with another person, to see that Christ is there too is to make me aware immediately of what He has taught me. It is only when I forget myself and devote myself to another's fulfillment that I will find my own heart running over with grace and satisfaction.
This is one of the fundamental mysteries of life, and it is confirmed to us every day. Those who try desperately to satisfy themselves are the ones who end up hollow inside. Jesus put it this way: “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it” (Matthew 16:25).
It becomes, then, a question of priority. You cannot have your rights by insisting upon them. You can have them only when you seek to give others their rights.
Do you dare to try living this radical principle right where you live today??
Lord Jesus, You who emptied yourself of Your glory and laid down Your rights in order to serve us, help us to follow Your example and submit to each other for Your sake and for the glory of God - Amen
Jeff Frazier
Thursday, May 27
And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him. – Ephesians 6:9
Paul’s words to owners of slaves are based on the same principle he gave to the slaves themselves. But why didn’t Paul just tell all slave owners to set their slaves free? Surely any human “owning” any other human is immoral.
Why didn’t Jesus himself speak out against this horror that was so common in his world?
We must beware of judging people of another culture and another era by standards which we have adopted after many decades of debate and political action. The early church was born and grew in a world that fully integrated slavery into the economy and society. They (the early Christians) too were marginalized and powerless and had little or no impact on their world as a whole. Even if they had, slavery could not be eliminated very easily; slaves outnumbered free people in many cities. Given this reality, it is remarkable to see the radical steps the church had taken.
The truly remarkable thing in this passage is that Paul assumes that slave and free will be worshiping together in the local churches! Not only were they equal before the cross, but they both came under the law of Christ and were responsible to him for their treatment of each other.
In another place (the book of Philemon), Paul appeals to a slave owner to welcome back his runaway slave Onesimus as a brother. In the church, slaves and masters were brothers and sisters, whatever they were in the world. It was that attitude and those values that would eventually lead to the abolishment of the slave trade and slavery itself.
In the words of the great Christmas Hymn “O Holy Night”,
Truly He taught us to love one another;
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother;
And in His name all oppression shall cease.
My guess is that it is a safe bet that there aren’t many slave owners reading this devotion. But there are probably more than a few readers who either employ others or supervise others in various occupations.
How can we apply Paul’s words to ancient slave owners to employers and/or supervisors today?
Here are a few thoughts…
Treat those who work for you or under your supervision with respect and with sincerity of heart, just as you would treat Christ Jesus.
Manage them, not just for your own convenience or to make them productive, but doing what is right because you serve Christ.
Supervise them fairly knowing you are both being supervised by Jesus.
Remember you will be rewarded for the good you do, just as they will.
Slave owners had the same Master in heaven that slaves had. Both were expected to serve him faithfully, whatever their respective roles.
Lord Jesus, you called Yourself servant of all, yet You are the Master of everything. Help us to serve others in Your name, regardless of rank or title, and without favoritism toward any – Amen.
Jeff Frazier
Paul’s words to owners of slaves are based on the same principle he gave to the slaves themselves. But why didn’t Paul just tell all slave owners to set their slaves free? Surely any human “owning” any other human is immoral.
Why didn’t Jesus himself speak out against this horror that was so common in his world?
We must beware of judging people of another culture and another era by standards which we have adopted after many decades of debate and political action. The early church was born and grew in a world that fully integrated slavery into the economy and society. They (the early Christians) too were marginalized and powerless and had little or no impact on their world as a whole. Even if they had, slavery could not be eliminated very easily; slaves outnumbered free people in many cities. Given this reality, it is remarkable to see the radical steps the church had taken.
The truly remarkable thing in this passage is that Paul assumes that slave and free will be worshiping together in the local churches! Not only were they equal before the cross, but they both came under the law of Christ and were responsible to him for their treatment of each other.
In another place (the book of Philemon), Paul appeals to a slave owner to welcome back his runaway slave Onesimus as a brother. In the church, slaves and masters were brothers and sisters, whatever they were in the world. It was that attitude and those values that would eventually lead to the abolishment of the slave trade and slavery itself.
In the words of the great Christmas Hymn “O Holy Night”,
Truly He taught us to love one another;
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother;
And in His name all oppression shall cease.
My guess is that it is a safe bet that there aren’t many slave owners reading this devotion. But there are probably more than a few readers who either employ others or supervise others in various occupations.
How can we apply Paul’s words to ancient slave owners to employers and/or supervisors today?
Here are a few thoughts…
Treat those who work for you or under your supervision with respect and with sincerity of heart, just as you would treat Christ Jesus.
Manage them, not just for your own convenience or to make them productive, but doing what is right because you serve Christ.
Supervise them fairly knowing you are both being supervised by Jesus.
Remember you will be rewarded for the good you do, just as they will.
Slave owners had the same Master in heaven that slaves had. Both were expected to serve him faithfully, whatever their respective roles.
Lord Jesus, you called Yourself servant of all, yet You are the Master of everything. Help us to serve others in Your name, regardless of rank or title, and without favoritism toward any – Amen.
Jeff Frazier
Wednesday, May 26
Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men, because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does, whether he is slave or free. - Ephesians 6:7-8
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men. – Colossians 3:23
Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. – 1 Corinthians 15:58
Paul repeatedly tells us that we (all Christians) should be working for God and not for men. But what does this mean exactly? Is Paul only talking about “church work”, i.e. serving in the church or ministry, or is he talking about all of our work? How can we “work for God” if we are employed by a corporation, or a school district, or a construction company? How can we serve God when we also have earthly bosses to worry about?
I recall a conversation I once had with a friend who told me that he was envious of my occupation as pastor. He said that he wished he could be more involved in the church, but he was frustrated because his job kept him so busy that he had no time for ministry. He had completely separated his work life from his spiritual life.
Paul cuts right across those assumptions with his instructions to slaves in Ephesians 6. Work done in the name of Christ is ministry. The way you do your job is important to the Kingdom. Ideally there is no tension between work and ministry because they are one and the same when done as slaves of Christ.
But what relevance do instructions to slaves have for modern day employees? To put things into perspective, it is important to note that in 100 AD slaves in the Greek and Roman world were not all like slaves from Africa in the modern era. Not only menial tasks, but virtually all work - skilled, unskilled and professional - was done by slaves.
There were an estimated 60 million slaves in the Roman Empire, and clearly Paul would have been addressing many in the churches. It was such a widely accepted fact of normal economic life that it was virtually unchallenged in the ancient world. Paul’s concern then is not the abolition of slavery, but how to deal with the tension between living as a slave while being free spiritually in Christ. Paul’s instructions to slaves of the Roman Empire have parallel relevance to all Christians today who have no choice but to work for someone else to earn a living.
Here are a few reflections to help you determine who you are really working for…
Prayer:
Lord Jesus, You have redeemed our lives from the slavery of sin & death. Help us to live and work as if we were Your slaves alone, with joyful obedience, faithful service and genuine integrity. - Amen
Jeff Frazier
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men. – Colossians 3:23
Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. – 1 Corinthians 15:58
Paul repeatedly tells us that we (all Christians) should be working for God and not for men. But what does this mean exactly? Is Paul only talking about “church work”, i.e. serving in the church or ministry, or is he talking about all of our work? How can we “work for God” if we are employed by a corporation, or a school district, or a construction company? How can we serve God when we also have earthly bosses to worry about?
I recall a conversation I once had with a friend who told me that he was envious of my occupation as pastor. He said that he wished he could be more involved in the church, but he was frustrated because his job kept him so busy that he had no time for ministry. He had completely separated his work life from his spiritual life.
Paul cuts right across those assumptions with his instructions to slaves in Ephesians 6. Work done in the name of Christ is ministry. The way you do your job is important to the Kingdom. Ideally there is no tension between work and ministry because they are one and the same when done as slaves of Christ.
But what relevance do instructions to slaves have for modern day employees? To put things into perspective, it is important to note that in 100 AD slaves in the Greek and Roman world were not all like slaves from Africa in the modern era. Not only menial tasks, but virtually all work - skilled, unskilled and professional - was done by slaves.
There were an estimated 60 million slaves in the Roman Empire, and clearly Paul would have been addressing many in the churches. It was such a widely accepted fact of normal economic life that it was virtually unchallenged in the ancient world. Paul’s concern then is not the abolition of slavery, but how to deal with the tension between living as a slave while being free spiritually in Christ. Paul’s instructions to slaves of the Roman Empire have parallel relevance to all Christians today who have no choice but to work for someone else to earn a living.
Here are a few reflections to help you determine who you are really working for…
Do you work hard only when the boss is watching or only when you know those who could advance your career will notice it?
Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but like slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. – Ephesians 6:6
Do you entangle yourself in office politics or water-cooler gossip about your co-workers?
Do you ever cheat your company or employer of an honest day’s work?
(re-read the verses at the beginning of this devotion)
What if you saw God as your “boss”??
Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but like slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. – Ephesians 6:6
Do you entangle yourself in office politics or water-cooler gossip about your co-workers?
Do you ever cheat your company or employer of an honest day’s work?
(re-read the verses at the beginning of this devotion)
What if you saw God as your “boss”??
Prayer:
Lord Jesus, You have redeemed our lives from the slavery of sin & death. Help us to live and work as if we were Your slaves alone, with joyful obedience, faithful service and genuine integrity. - Amen
Jeff Frazier
Tuesday, May 25
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. – Ephesians 6:4
As a father, I sometimes wish the command had been “Children, don’t exasperate your fathers”, but that isn’t the way it is. The command for children to obey their parents is balanced here with a command to fathers – and mothers, since the word used can apply to both parents. Paul was writing to people living in a patriarchal society in which the father held absolute authority in the home, but the Bible teaches that raising children is to be a joint effort between both mother and father (and of course mothers can be just as exasperating to children as fathers).
Nevertheless, the importance of fathers in the lives of children really cannot be overstated. Many children grow up without a Father in the home, or in their life at all. Author Donald Miller’s book, To Own A Dragon speaks directly to this tragic reality. In the back of the book he lists some horrifying statistics, among them “85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes.”
Fathers and mothers alike have to be careful not to discipline their children out of anger or frustration, which only teaches them to handle their own problems with anger. Instead, treating them as individuals made in the image of God and having their independent relationship to God will help us take them by the hand and lead them where they were meant to go. Proverbs 22:6 says, Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. The challenge is to distinguish between the way we wish they would go and the way their heavenly Father has designed them to go. But it is a challenge all parents must face. The simple truth is that parenting is hard - really hard. Every parent knows the feelings of anxiety, fear, and general inadequacy that accompany our efforts to raise our kids “right”.
Every parent knows that there is no “one size fits all” approach to parenting; there is no such thing as a magical parenting formula that works for every child. Of course there are certain things that every child needs - things like security, encouragement, discipline, guidance, etc. But when and how to discipline, or when and how to encourage - these are tough questions for parents. When you combine this with the different personalities and temperaments of each child and then with their different developmental stages, you realize that parenting is much more like solving a riddle than following an instruction manual. This is why I am always a little leery of books or seminars that make promises like 10 steps or seven principles of perfecting parenting.
Raising kids in the training and instruction of the Lord takes wisdom, discernment, courage, perseverance and grace (and a whole lot of prayer). But isn’t this precisely the way our Heavenly Father handles us? God does not treat us all with some cookie cutter approach to our spiritual growth, and we should all be very glad that He doesn’t. His Spirit convicts, comforts, challenges, teaches, heals, prompts, and guides in different ways and at different times for different people. Your Father knows when you need to be comforted and He knows when you need to be kicked in your spiritual rear-end. Remember, we are his children and He is fathering us as His children, His dearly loved children (Eph. 5:1).
If you are a parent, take a few moments to thank God for the amazing gift of your children…
Ask Him to give you His insight as your heavenly Father, to know the way each of your children should go, and for the wisdom and courage to train and instruct them in it…
Thank God that He knows you and He designed the way in which you are to go. Thank Him that He is perfectly willing and able to train and instruct you in it.
Prayer:
Father, we praise you for the blessing of children, grant us the joy of taking them by the hand as they grow in their understanding and love of you, and teach us all to know that we too are children with you as our Father – Amen.
Jeff Frazier
As a father, I sometimes wish the command had been “Children, don’t exasperate your fathers”, but that isn’t the way it is. The command for children to obey their parents is balanced here with a command to fathers – and mothers, since the word used can apply to both parents. Paul was writing to people living in a patriarchal society in which the father held absolute authority in the home, but the Bible teaches that raising children is to be a joint effort between both mother and father (and of course mothers can be just as exasperating to children as fathers).
Nevertheless, the importance of fathers in the lives of children really cannot be overstated. Many children grow up without a Father in the home, or in their life at all. Author Donald Miller’s book, To Own A Dragon speaks directly to this tragic reality. In the back of the book he lists some horrifying statistics, among them “85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes.”
Fathers and mothers alike have to be careful not to discipline their children out of anger or frustration, which only teaches them to handle their own problems with anger. Instead, treating them as individuals made in the image of God and having their independent relationship to God will help us take them by the hand and lead them where they were meant to go. Proverbs 22:6 says, Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. The challenge is to distinguish between the way we wish they would go and the way their heavenly Father has designed them to go. But it is a challenge all parents must face. The simple truth is that parenting is hard - really hard. Every parent knows the feelings of anxiety, fear, and general inadequacy that accompany our efforts to raise our kids “right”.
Every parent knows that there is no “one size fits all” approach to parenting; there is no such thing as a magical parenting formula that works for every child. Of course there are certain things that every child needs - things like security, encouragement, discipline, guidance, etc. But when and how to discipline, or when and how to encourage - these are tough questions for parents. When you combine this with the different personalities and temperaments of each child and then with their different developmental stages, you realize that parenting is much more like solving a riddle than following an instruction manual. This is why I am always a little leery of books or seminars that make promises like 10 steps or seven principles of perfecting parenting.
Raising kids in the training and instruction of the Lord takes wisdom, discernment, courage, perseverance and grace (and a whole lot of prayer). But isn’t this precisely the way our Heavenly Father handles us? God does not treat us all with some cookie cutter approach to our spiritual growth, and we should all be very glad that He doesn’t. His Spirit convicts, comforts, challenges, teaches, heals, prompts, and guides in different ways and at different times for different people. Your Father knows when you need to be comforted and He knows when you need to be kicked in your spiritual rear-end. Remember, we are his children and He is fathering us as His children, His dearly loved children (Eph. 5:1).
If you are a parent, take a few moments to thank God for the amazing gift of your children…
Ask Him to give you His insight as your heavenly Father, to know the way each of your children should go, and for the wisdom and courage to train and instruct them in it…
Thank God that He knows you and He designed the way in which you are to go. Thank Him that He is perfectly willing and able to train and instruct you in it.
Prayer:
Father, we praise you for the blessing of children, grant us the joy of taking them by the hand as they grow in their understanding and love of you, and teach us all to know that we too are children with you as our Father – Amen.
Jeff Frazier
Monday, May 24
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise — “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” - Ephesians 6:1-3
This is a very familiar passage to many of us. Perhaps you can still hear the voice of your mother or father quoting this verse to you in order to get you to behave. Perhaps you have used it in the same way with your children.
It is interesting that Paul wrote this letter to the Christians in Ephesus assuming that there would be children in the congregation. He apparently expected children to be present in the worship gatherings when his letter would have been read aloud. Imagine families sitting together; mothers and fathers, sons and daughters all listening as these words are read to them. Can you imagine first century moms and dads elbowing their children and whispering, “I told you so.”
When I was a youth pastor, I would often hear kids asking the question about how far they had to take this commandment. Questions like: what are the limits of this call to obey our parents? What are the circumstances under which we don’t have to obey? What if my parents are just wrong? Of course we all know or have heard horror stories of parental abuse or neglect and in such cases strict obedience is not God’s will. We may also be in a situation where we have grown up and are out on our own, and we no longer obey like we did when we were young children. But these are exceptions and they do not negate the Biblical principle here. We are called to obey and to honor our parents!
Paul gives three basic reasons for this command. First of all, it is right. It is part of the natural order of how things work. This is virtually self-evident. No society on earth can tolerate rebellious children without serious consequences. Second, Paul appeals to the Ten Commandments. Children’s obedience is not just naturally right; it has been revealed as a requirement of God. Children in Jewish society were considered morally responsible at 13 years of age (boys) and at 12 (girls). It is significant to note that when Jesus was 12 he was confounding the teachers of the law in the temple at Jerusalem with his understanding and answers (Luke 2: 47), yet when he returned home with his parents he was still obedient to them. Finally, Paul reminds us of the promise associated with the command – the prospect of the good life and enjoying long life on earth. The promise is not so much to individuals as to whole societies. Everyone will be happier and enjoy life to the full where children are given moral responsibility and they voluntarily act in the way God intended.
This passage is describing how things are supposed to work in God’s kingdom on earth. But we do not have to look very far or very hard today to see that this is not the way most of the world operates. The Christian family is supposed to be an example to the world of the grace and love of God in action. The call for children to obey and honor their earthly parents is a reflection of the call for us all to obey and honor our heavenly father. We do not always understand what God is doing or why He requires certain things of us. We certainly will not always feel like obeying, but He is still our Heavenly Father!
Take a few moments to thank God for your parents…
If your parents are no longer living – thank Him for the memories and legacy they left in you…
If your parents were less than perfect, if they wounded you in some way – ask God to help you forgive them (for this is a part of honoring them too) and to be grateful for the few things they did well…
Ask God to help you see how you can (whatever your age or stage of life) obey His command to “honor your mother & father”…
Prayer:
Lord Jesus, though you were perfect and without sin, you were humble enough to obey and honor your imperfect parents while you were on earth. Teach us to live as your children and to learn the great joy of honoring our earthly parents in order that we might become more obedient to You. - Amen
Jeff Frazier
This is a very familiar passage to many of us. Perhaps you can still hear the voice of your mother or father quoting this verse to you in order to get you to behave. Perhaps you have used it in the same way with your children.
It is interesting that Paul wrote this letter to the Christians in Ephesus assuming that there would be children in the congregation. He apparently expected children to be present in the worship gatherings when his letter would have been read aloud. Imagine families sitting together; mothers and fathers, sons and daughters all listening as these words are read to them. Can you imagine first century moms and dads elbowing their children and whispering, “I told you so.”
When I was a youth pastor, I would often hear kids asking the question about how far they had to take this commandment. Questions like: what are the limits of this call to obey our parents? What are the circumstances under which we don’t have to obey? What if my parents are just wrong? Of course we all know or have heard horror stories of parental abuse or neglect and in such cases strict obedience is not God’s will. We may also be in a situation where we have grown up and are out on our own, and we no longer obey like we did when we were young children. But these are exceptions and they do not negate the Biblical principle here. We are called to obey and to honor our parents!
Paul gives three basic reasons for this command. First of all, it is right. It is part of the natural order of how things work. This is virtually self-evident. No society on earth can tolerate rebellious children without serious consequences. Second, Paul appeals to the Ten Commandments. Children’s obedience is not just naturally right; it has been revealed as a requirement of God. Children in Jewish society were considered morally responsible at 13 years of age (boys) and at 12 (girls). It is significant to note that when Jesus was 12 he was confounding the teachers of the law in the temple at Jerusalem with his understanding and answers (Luke 2: 47), yet when he returned home with his parents he was still obedient to them. Finally, Paul reminds us of the promise associated with the command – the prospect of the good life and enjoying long life on earth. The promise is not so much to individuals as to whole societies. Everyone will be happier and enjoy life to the full where children are given moral responsibility and they voluntarily act in the way God intended.
This passage is describing how things are supposed to work in God’s kingdom on earth. But we do not have to look very far or very hard today to see that this is not the way most of the world operates. The Christian family is supposed to be an example to the world of the grace and love of God in action. The call for children to obey and honor their earthly parents is a reflection of the call for us all to obey and honor our heavenly father. We do not always understand what God is doing or why He requires certain things of us. We certainly will not always feel like obeying, but He is still our Heavenly Father!
Take a few moments to thank God for your parents…
If your parents are no longer living – thank Him for the memories and legacy they left in you…
If your parents were less than perfect, if they wounded you in some way – ask God to help you forgive them (for this is a part of honoring them too) and to be grateful for the few things they did well…
Ask God to help you see how you can (whatever your age or stage of life) obey His command to “honor your mother & father”…
Prayer:
Lord Jesus, though you were perfect and without sin, you were humble enough to obey and honor your imperfect parents while you were on earth. Teach us to live as your children and to learn the great joy of honoring our earthly parents in order that we might become more obedient to You. - Amen
Jeff Frazier
Friday, May 21
Psalm 1:6
For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish.
Thank the Lord today for his guidance over your life and ask him to keep you from that which would dishonor him and damage your own soul.
Read:
Ephesians 4:25-32
(v. 25) Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work. Doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
When it comes to anger, are you a “spewer” or a “swallower?” Let me explain. A spewer is a person who, when they are angry, typically vents that anger or frustration immediately and outwardly to whoever happens to be in the vicinity. A swallower is someone who, instead of spewing anger on others, tends to swallow that anger inside themselves. In fact, quite often swallowers are not even aware that they are angry, but they are – sometimes even more angry than the spewers.
Paul here is giving some very practical instruction about these two kinds of anger. He calls them “rage” and “bitterness.” But before he talks about rage and bitterness – he says, “In your anger do not sin.” In other words, anger, as a human emotion, is not necessarily sinful. Anger can, at times, be the appropriate response to frustration, pain or injustice because it tells us something is wrong and can spur us to take action. But anger, according to Paul, also makes us vulnerable to sin. Two of the forms of sinful anger that Paul mentions (he actually mentions several others as well) are rage and bitterness.
Rage is the outward and often explosive expression of anger. Rage is spewing. Rage is sinful because it hurts other people and destroys relationships.
Bitterness is anger turned inward. Bitterness is swallowing anger and holding on to it while it ferments and rots in our souls. Bitterness is sinful because it also hurts people (mostly us) and destroys relationships. It may work more slowly and more coldly – but it destroys nonetheless.
Paul teaches us two things with regard to rage and bitterness. First, he urges us to keep short accounts. “Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry.” In other words, recognize and deal with your anger before it becomes sinful. Then he says, “get rid” of your anger. How do we do that? The rest of scripture suggests that prayer and confession is a great place to begin. When we allow the Holy Spirit to expose the anger we harbor in our hearts and then confess that to God in the safety and trust of prayer, we will find that he begins to release us from that rage or bitterness – and enables us to move toward genuine forgiveness.
So, are you a spewer or a swallower? Take some time as you close your week with God and ask him to help you identify any sinful anger you may have spewed or swallowed in recent days. Then ask him to help you confess and release that anger with his help.
Brian Coffey
For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish.
Thank the Lord today for his guidance over your life and ask him to keep you from that which would dishonor him and damage your own soul.
Read:
Ephesians 4:25-32
(v. 25) Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work. Doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
When it comes to anger, are you a “spewer” or a “swallower?” Let me explain. A spewer is a person who, when they are angry, typically vents that anger or frustration immediately and outwardly to whoever happens to be in the vicinity. A swallower is someone who, instead of spewing anger on others, tends to swallow that anger inside themselves. In fact, quite often swallowers are not even aware that they are angry, but they are – sometimes even more angry than the spewers.
Paul here is giving some very practical instruction about these two kinds of anger. He calls them “rage” and “bitterness.” But before he talks about rage and bitterness – he says, “In your anger do not sin.” In other words, anger, as a human emotion, is not necessarily sinful. Anger can, at times, be the appropriate response to frustration, pain or injustice because it tells us something is wrong and can spur us to take action. But anger, according to Paul, also makes us vulnerable to sin. Two of the forms of sinful anger that Paul mentions (he actually mentions several others as well) are rage and bitterness.
Rage is the outward and often explosive expression of anger. Rage is spewing. Rage is sinful because it hurts other people and destroys relationships.
Bitterness is anger turned inward. Bitterness is swallowing anger and holding on to it while it ferments and rots in our souls. Bitterness is sinful because it also hurts people (mostly us) and destroys relationships. It may work more slowly and more coldly – but it destroys nonetheless.
Paul teaches us two things with regard to rage and bitterness. First, he urges us to keep short accounts. “Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry.” In other words, recognize and deal with your anger before it becomes sinful. Then he says, “get rid” of your anger. How do we do that? The rest of scripture suggests that prayer and confession is a great place to begin. When we allow the Holy Spirit to expose the anger we harbor in our hearts and then confess that to God in the safety and trust of prayer, we will find that he begins to release us from that rage or bitterness – and enables us to move toward genuine forgiveness.
So, are you a spewer or a swallower? Take some time as you close your week with God and ask him to help you identify any sinful anger you may have spewed or swallowed in recent days. Then ask him to help you confess and release that anger with his help.
Brian Coffey
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