Tuesday, May 21

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For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.  - Ephesians 5:31

This verse is not simply an example of beautiful, poetic language. There is a fundamental reality behind this: Husband and Wife are not just two people rooming together. Their lives actually do blend into one another. They actually become one. It is, therefore, true that what hurts the wife damages the husband, and what wounds the husband, hurts to wife too.  It cannot help but do so. If he is bitter toward her, it will eat like a cancer in his own life and heart. That is why, if you have had an argument or squabble with your spouse, you may find yourself unable to focus on your work that day.

In this verse from Ephesians 5, the Apostle Paul is actually quoting straight out of the book of Genesis, from the story of the very first husband and wife (Adam & Eve)... 

The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman’, for she was taken out of man.”  For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.  Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.  - Genesis 2:23-25

This is a remarkable passage because it gathers up the great concepts of marriage that run throughout the Bible. After God finished making woman and Adam slept off the deep unconsciousness into which he had fallen, God brought the woman to Adam. What a scene that must have been!  Here is the first of a very long line of “boy-meets-girl” stories.  Out of this account emerge several factors that are essential to a Christian marriage.

The first is that marriage is to involve a complete identity. The two are to be one. Adam's first reaction when he saw his wife was, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh,” or, “She is one being with me.” This is strengthened in the latter part of verse 24, which adds, “and they will become one flesh.” It is not without reason that this has become part of the marriage service, this recognition of unity. As someone has well said, the one word above all that makes marriage successful is “ours.” 

The next factor that characterizes true marriage is permanence. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” In the Hebrew text is the word devakut, which means “to cling, stick, or to adhere firmly, as if with glue.”  Some older Bible translations use the word “cleave” to translate this concept.  A husband is to leave his family and cleave to his wife. He forsakes all others and attaches himself to her.  Whatever she may be like, he is to hold fast to her. He is to stay with her, and she with him, because marriage is a permanent thing.

Finally, in verse 25, we see read that “The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” This speaks clearly of openness between man and wife. They have no secrets, nothing that they do not share with each other.  This is a high calling, but it is the failure to work toward this kind of openness that lies behind so much breakdown in marriage today, the utter breakdown of communication, where two people can sit and look at one another and say nothing or talk about merely surface trivialities.  Often this is why they are so judgmental with one another, each one trying to get the other to agree and not being willing to allow differences of viewpoint to exist. There is to be a freedom of communication, one with the other. Marriages shrivel, wither, and die when this is not true.

Thank you Oh Lord for the gift of marriage, and for revealing Your perfect plan for the functioning of husband and wife.  Forgive us for abusing this gift and taking it for granted.  Teach us to honor this precious gift of marriage - Amen.

Jeff Frazier