Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Then I heard what sounded like a great multitude, like the roar or rushing waters and like loud peals of thunder, shouting:

“Hallelujah!
For our Lord God Almighty reigns, Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready. Fine linen, bright and clean, was given her to wear.”
(Fine linen stands for the righteous acts of the saints.) Revelation 19:6-8


Begin today by reflecting on the wedding imagery in the great book of Revelation. John envisions heaven as a great wedding feast – the celebration of the union of the Lamb (Jesus Christ) with his bride (the church). Ask God to make your own marriage a reflection of this same purity, joy and love.

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Ephesians 5:22-24


We all use fasteners that use “Velcro technology” almost every day of our lives. We know that Velcro works when two different kinds of fabric – hooks and loops – are pressed together. We also know that if you only have one of those two types of fabric – it does not function as a fastener. Both sides of Velcro are necessary for it to work at all.

The same is true in marriage. Only Paul is telling us that the “Velcro” of marriage is not hooks and loops – but love and respect.

He instructs wives to respect the leadership of their husbands as the church respects Christ and he teaches husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the Church. Why does he say it that way and what does it mean?

We have to remember that, in Paul’s day, wives were little more than the property of their husbands. So when Paul writes, “Wives, submit to your husbands…” they would have been thinking, “Well, duh, of course… because if I don’t he will beat it out of me – or divorce me!” But notice WHY Paul says wives are to respect their husbands! It’s not because women are inferior to men but rather because Christian husbands are commanded to love their wives “as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” 

Paul is actually presenting a revolutionary vision of marriage here – a vision of marriage that changed the world. In the Christian view of marriage – wives can afford to respect their husbands precisely because their husbands are willing to lay down their lives to love, protect and nourish their wives! The other side of the Velcro is that when a husband feels the respect of his wife – he wants to love her even more!

This means that neither love nor respect can be demanded from the other! For a husband to say to his wife, “I’m the husband, the Bible says you have to respect me!” (which I have actually heard men say!) at best will produce a kind of grudging, resentful respect. Or, for a wife to say to her husband, “I’m your wife, you have to love me- the Bible says so!” While that is true, it is unlikely to produce the kind of love she most desires. Both love and respect can only be offered as gifts – and they are most easily offered as gifts in the presence of each other. That is, when a wife feels the sacrificial and unconditional love of her husband – she naturally will respect him. And when the husband feels the respect of his wife – he will naturally want to express love to her!

Take a few moments to think about your own marriage (or central relationships). If you are a husband, do you demand respect or do you offer love as a gift? If you are a wife, do you demand love, or do you offer respect? How can you offer your spouse what he or she most needs and wants from you today?

Brian Coffey