Tuesday, January 11

Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am faint; O Lord, heal me, for my bones are in agony…. I am worn out from groaning; all night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears. My eyes grow weak with sorrow; they fail because of all my foes. Psalm 6:2, 6-7

My younger brother Joe was both fearless and extremely curious as a child – which, of course, is a dangerous combination! When he was about four years old (I was about six) we were playing on the old rusty swing set in our back yard when he became fascinated with the metal mechanism that allowed the see-saw to rock back and forth. He climbed up on the A-frame of the swing set and watched the mechanism intently – noticing that each time the see-saw swung a small round hole opened up momentarily in the mechanism before closing again. He also noticed that the hole looked just big enough for a finger to fit in. So, you guessed it, he timed up the mechanism’s movement and just as the opening appeared he stuck his finger right into it. The next sound I heard was the cry of pain because the mechanism ripped his fingernail right off and nearly cut the tip of his finger off.

We know that pain is part of the human experience. In the book of Job we read, “Man is born for trouble, as sparks fly upward.” (Job 5:7) We also know that some of our pain is self-inflicted – like when a four-year old sticks his finger in a swing set mechanism – or when a full grown adult chooses to drive too fast, or drink too much or spend too much. But it is also true that some of our pain is undeserved and seems to come out of nowhere for no reason. I read in the newspaper the other day that over a million Haitians are still living in tent villages because of the earthquake that hit their small island over a year ago. They did nothing to deserve or cause that earthquake – yet they still suffer today.

Whether our pain is self inflicted or underserved – it still hurts. And the experience of pain can lead us to feel alone and to feel that God has abandoned us. In Psalm 22 David cries, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning?” David knows, of course, that God has not gone anywhere – and the God has not somehow managed to forget his name – yet the pain he is experiencing creates a very real and deep sense of loneliness.

So what does he do? What does he pray? David is honest with God. He doesn’t pray a cute, churchy-sounding prayer. He doesn’t try to impress God with his theological understanding. He simply blurts out what he is feeling – he opens his heart and bleeds all over the page.

And this is prayer! Prayer is a relationship with God, and there is no real relationship without honesty. Of course, prayer is also worship and listening and intercession for others; prayer is obedience and discipline; prayer is, at its heart, and experience of God himself – but prayer begins with honesty.

Have you been honest with God today?

Brian Coffey