Thursday, February 10

In your anger, do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.                                          Ephesians 4:26, 31-32

Way back in the 1930’s a Chicago newspaper carried the strange story of Harry Havens. One evening Harry was washing dishes with his wife when Mrs. Havens scolded him for not performing his task correctly. For whatever reason, that was the last straw for Harry. He responded to what he felt was unjust criticism by saying, “Well, if that’s the way you feel, I’m going to bed and I never want to see you again.” And he proceeded to blindfold himself and get into bed. And, according to the newspaper article, he stayed there for seven years.

That’s bitterness!

While rage is anger expressed outwardly, bitterness is anger turned inward. Where rage is explosive and violent and often destructive; bitterness is silent and cold and every bit as destructive. Bitterness slowly strangles all relationships – with others and with God.  Scientists used to think it was safe to bury nuclear waste deep underground only to discover that it was so toxic that it leaked into underground water sources and contaminated everything it touches. So it is with bitterness!

In my experience as a pastor I have come to believe that bitterness is one of the “occupational hazards” of many, many Christian people. We love God and want to please him – and we don’t want to be angry. We especially don’t want to hurt others by expressing anger directly in the form of rage.  So we tend to pretend we aren’t angry and we try to bury those unpleasant feelings deep inside our hearts. The result, quite often, is a growing bitterness that threatens to destroy not only our joy but our relationships with others and with God. I think this is what Paul means by giving “the Devil a foothold.” The longer we hold onto our hurt and anger the more we allow our enemy to poison our hearts with bitterness!

So, how do we get rid of the toxic waste of bitterness? We must learn to pray like David prayed in Psalm 109. We must learn to express our hurt and anger in the safety and confession of prayer. When we turn our unpleasant and ugly emotions into prayer we find that those feelings lose some of their power. When we trust God enough to be honest with him we will find that he is willing and able to absorb our bitter feelings and replace them with healing.

So which is your “preferred style of anger”? Do you tend toward rage or bitterness? Are you carrying either in your heart today? If so, take some time to lay those feelings before God in the safety of prayer.

Brian Coffey