Tuesday, August 26th

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Tuesday, August 26

Nehemiah 10:28-39

“The rest of the people, the priests, the Levites, the gatekeepers, the singers, the temple servants, and all who have separated themselves from the peoples of the lands to the Law of God, their wives, their sons, their daughters, all who have knowledge and understanding, join with their brothers, their nobles, and enter into a curse and an oath to walk in God's Law that was given by Moses the servant of God, and to observe and do all the commandments of the Lord our Lord and his rules and his statutes. We will not give our daughters to the peoples of the land or take their daughters for our sons.

Like most pastors, I have done my share of weddings over the years. While I haven’t kept a count I would put the number somewhere over 200. And in almost every wedding I have done there is a moment called “The giving of the bride.” This moment usually comes right after the bride is escorted by her father down the aisle while the guests stand and oooh and ahhh at her radiant beauty! 

I say, “Since so-and-so and so-and-so have come before me to be married, I now ask, who gives this woman to be married to this man?”

At that point the father of the bride swallows hard and then croaks out his well-rehearsed answer, “Her mother and I.” Then, usually with tears in his eyes, he lifts his daughter’s veil, gives her a tender kiss, and then punches his future son-in-law as hard as he can in the arm and sits down. I’m just kidding about that last part, but I think that’s what most fathers of the bride really want to do!

I think if I could look into the heart of almost any father who stands at the front of a church to give away his little girl to another man, I would find a heart full of love, hope and fear. Love, because he loves his daughter with his very life; hope, because he hopes for her great happiness and joy; and fear, because he fears that the man he gives her to will not love her the way God wants her to be loved.

I think that’s what is behind the covenant Nehemiah is proclaiming to the people of Jerusalem.

We will not give our daughters to the peoples of the land or take their daughters for our sons.

Nehemiah is acknowledging the importance of shared faith in marriage. The people groups living in the region of Jerusalem did not acknowledge, worship or serve the God of Israel. Most of the surrounding cultures were polytheistic or served pagan deities. Therefore they did not share the same values as the Israelites and Nehemiah is emphasizing the dangers inherent in marrying outside one’s own faith.

This danger has nothing to do with ethnic, educational or economic background, but rather with the importance of building the spiritual DNA of a family.

I have counseled many couples who did not consider a shared spiritual commitment to be important at the time of their marriage, only to discover the lack of a spiritual foundation to be the source of great conflict and pain later in their relationship, especially when they begin to raise children in their home.

Nehemiah is reminding the people that what they believe about their God matters! He’s reminding the people that holiness matters. He’s reminding them that they belong to God and are set apart for his purposes.

He’s also reminding them that families matter as well. A marriage that lacks a spiritual foundation is on shaky ground. Likewise, a family without a spiritual foundation is like a home without walls; everyone who lives there is vulnerable to all manner of threats from the outside.

If you are married, does your marriage have a spiritual foundation? If you are a parent, are you invested in establishing a spiritual foundation for your family? May we remember the words of Nehemiah:

We will not give our daughters to the peoples of the land...

Pastor Brian Coffey